- Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
- In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
- On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
- On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business"
- At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
- On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
- On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
- On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
- At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
- On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
- At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
- On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
- In a Non-Smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
- On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
- At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
- On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
- On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
- At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
- Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary We hear you coming."
- In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
- At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you sent in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
- In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
- In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
- At a Propane Filling Station :
"Thank heaven for little grills."
- And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak"