Therapeutic Advice
- Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains!
Pull yourself together, man! -
- Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell.
Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring. -
- Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Don't let people push you around.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?! -
- Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me.
What do you mean by that? -
- Doctor, doctor, People keep ignoring me!
Next! -
- Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say.
Tell me the truth now, what's your REAL problem? -
- Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later. -
- Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I'm ugly!
Lay on the couch, face down. -
- Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop stealing things.
Take these pills for a week; if that doesn't work I'll have a color TV! -
- Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir. -
- Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive.
Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm... -
- Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights.
And how long have you had this complaint?
Who wants to know? -
- Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank!
And how long have you had this complaint?
What complaint? -
- Doctor, doctor, I feel so short!
No problem. Hop up on the couch. -
- Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket.
You do look a little pail. -
- Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live.
Wait a minute please. -
- Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.
Don't answer!
- Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge.
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a cat.
How long has this been going on?
Oh, since I was a kitten!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture.
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